Can all women have an orgasm? Is it, in fact, true the majority of women may not be able to reach the point of this sexual sensation?

Why are women considerably less likely to have an orgasm than compared to men?

This is something that was a topic of discussion among some peers of Her Inner Pleasure just the other day and it really had everyone thinking on what it is that could prevent certain women from experiencing the feeling of an orgasm? Please, by all means, correct me if I am wrong, but shouldn’t every woman experience an orgasm at least once in their lives, if not more?

What is a orgasm? An orgasm is a feeling of intense sexual pleasure that happens during sexual activity. It’s sometimes called “coming” or “climaxing”. Both men and women have orgasms.

Being as it is, we decided that here at Her Inner Pleasure we would take it upon ourselves to find some answers, not only for our peers who were curious on why certain women may not be able to have an orgasm, but also for our valuable readers as well and hopefully shine some light on this topic for every one’s education purposes.

We feel this is another main sexual health topic that needs to be addressed and not kept under the covers hidden from the world, answers are needed on why can’t I have an orgasm?

What Could Be Preventing You Having A Organism?

First, we focused on what we thought might play a major role in preventing certain women unable to orgasm and was quite surprised by our findings. Our first thought was to look at the demographics as our starting point with age, income increase, living situation, and education.

Even as it may appear those factors mentioned above are somewhat role players in the likeliness of achieving an orgasm which increased slightly, it is still not enough to prove why it is hard for the majority of women not being able to have an orgasm

Is it something that is psychological or sociological that plays a major role in the factors?

Second, could it be that their beliefs are possibly preventing them from having an orgasm? Some women appeared to believe that within their beliefs it was forbidden among their culture for them to reach an orgasm and felt that they would be committing a sin if they did. People have even committed suicide because they had masturbated and felt they had shamed their beliefs, It is sad to say but also true.

What category would their beliefs fall under, psychological or sociological?

Now I can understand that some religious beliefs when it came to masturbation are to be considered wrong doing’s and one having a feeling of guilt. Which, truth be told is that masturbation should be talked about and open for discussion. No one should ever have a feeling of guilt when it comes down to it, did you know that masturbation offers several health benefits that can really improve your overall well-being?

So Many Distractions, Why Can I Not Cum?

We are a society of humans who are multi-taskers every day. We scroll through Facebook while we are brushing our teeth, watch TV and talk on the phone while we eat and checking our text messages plus our emails while we have conversations with our friends or family.

Our brains are so used to being in overdrive mode that it can be difficult to relax and focus on just one task at a time, like having an orgasm.

For most people during sex, their minds are so focused on other things than just focusing on what really matters and that is a pleasure for them and for their partner. If you are worried about what you are going to wear tomorrow to that big meeting or what would be a good dinner idea for tomorrow night then you will never be able to have an orgasm. I know it is hard to try and turn the brain off with so much going on around you.

If you feel your brain going 90 miles an hour during sex, you may want to take up yoga or try meditation which will teach how to focus and have a clear mind. You can also try doing a no-multitasking challenge; for one day a week try to only do one activity at a time. It will feel ridiculously challenging at first, but it will slowly get easier as you practice. You will begin to see that you are still getting your task completed, but at the same time, you are becoming more and more feeling less overloaded.

If you feel like you becoming distracted during sex then tell yourself, “Okay, I am starting to drift off to other thoughts, I need to bring myself back and enjoy the moment I am in right now”. Take deep breaths and relax, no need to be in a hurry unless it is a quickie.

Relationship Happiness, The Key To Orgasm?

Are you in a relationship and very happy with your partner, but still not having an orgasm? Studies show that as happiness within a relationship increases that the chances of a woman reaching an orgasm experience go up.

It turns out that the ability for women to have an orgasm has very little to do with the differences among women, but more so to do with the stimulation that they are receiving from masturbation or from their partner.

Many women — about one out of three — have trouble reaching orgasm when having sex with a partner. Most women experience orgasm through clitoral stimulation rather than through vaginal penetration. So if a woman is having difficulty reaching orgasm, she may want to try clitoral stimulation before, during or after vaginal intercourse or oral sex.

The clitoris can also be stimulated orally, manually, or with sex toys such as a vibrator. Most women who reach orgasm with a partner have also experienced an orgasm from masturbation. Women who have never had an orgasm may want to try and masturbate in order to learn how they like to be touched, which in return communicate the information with your partner and let them know where the right spots are.

Keep in mind, every woman’s body responds differently to various kinds of sex, and every woman has different preferences for how she likes to be stimulated.

 How To Stimulate Yourself?

As we all know, the only one who truly knows how to get you off, is you!

Stimulate yourself and let your partner watch, this will be a big turn on not only for you, but for them as well.

Women are most likely to have a ‘yes yes yes’ moment if their partner engages in deep kissing, genital stimulation, and oral sex. Finding what works can really boost the pleasure for both you and your partner, remember to communicate with each other letting both parties involved know where it is to touch, rub or bite in some cases. By doing so will open up a whole new chapter in your love making.

  • Direct stimulation
  • Sex toys
  • Dirty talk
  • Tantric sex
  • Spanking/role-playing/BDSM
  • Masturbate in front of one another

The most valuable thing you can do is to find new ways to bring more Clitoral Stimulation into your sex life. Work on finding adventurous positions and activities that stimulate the clit and you’ll be opened up to a whole new world of possibilities. Discuss with your partner on the topic of bringing Sex Toy’s and lubrication into the bedroom in order to try new and exciting things.

You Can Squirt What, Out Of Your What?

Squirting refers to the expulsion of fluid out of a woman’s urethra during orgasm. If you want to learn how to squirt, you’ll need to enlist the help of your G-Spot and yes all women have a G-Spot. The G-spot is located just a few inches from the vaginal wall. You can use your fingers to locate it, you’re looking for a spongy bundle of tissue that’s roughly the size of a quarter. If you press down on it, you should feel like you have to pee really bad. The G-spot usually responds best to very firm pressure when applied to.

A majority of people are only fixated on the squirting itself, but what makes the experience pleasurable is the fact that it’s accompanied with an intense G-Spot-induced orgasm. By stroking the wall of the vagina (the front side) it will create a unique sensation that can lead you to an orgasm.

One of the best things a woman can do in order to learn how to squirt is by to exercise your PC muscles better known as “Kegels”. These muscles wrap around the pelvis and have been known to increase the chances of reaching a stronger orgasm and allowing you to squirt.

If you do not know where your PC muscles are located then try this the next time you sit down to pee, as your peeing stop the flow of urine and you will feel a pulling up sensation.

That pulling up sensation is your PC muscles stopping the flow of urine, this exercise can be done throughout the day even if you are not needing to go. Practice a few times a day and hold and release.

If you’re on your own, you’re probably going to want to use a sex toy because it will pretty hard to reach the anterior wall of your vagina with your fingers. The G-spot is more about pressure than on doing a ton of tricky movements, so try simply rubbing the toy in small circles with a good amount of force.

If you’re with a partner, then you want to lay on your back and have your partner use a “come here” motion with their fingers to find your G-spot. Your partner should be in a position that gives them good leverage and is comfortable. Alternatively, they can also use a sex toys on you. Again, focus on small, tight movements with a lot of pressure. Please remember to always use lubrication when using sex toys.

Practice Makes Perfect

Over time the more you practice on yourself or with your partner you will eventually be able to have an orgasm and will know every time how to make it happen for you. There are several sex toys and lubes out there on the market that are very safe to use and can help you even more. Plus along with exercising your muscles, there should be no reason why now you could not have an orgasm.

Remember to relax and cut out all of the surrounding distractions, just focus on the moment that is taking place. Turn the phone off or on silent, turn the television off and put on some romantic music to help set the mood with some candles and wine.

We here at Her Inner Pleasure hope that we have provided some helpful information for anyone who is reading and that this information will help set you up to have the best exploding, wet, squirting best orgasm you ever had!!!

Some of these links within this post are affiliate links of which I may receive a small compensation from sales of certain items.

Leave comments or feedback ideas you might have to share.

Peace, Love, and Happiness,

HIP Angel


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  • An interesting post. It’s quite thorough and educational while aiming to help both men and women learn more about women’s sexual needs. I like that you’ve included what can impact achieving an orgasm, as what you’ve listed can have a very real effect on the outcome. I also like the idea of trying to be focused on one thing at a time to help one become more mindful and more present in the moment. This will certainly help in the bedroom but it will also have an effect in every day activities too. Thanks for sharing.

    • Hi Kat thank you for taking the time and reading the article. Her Inner Pleasure is set out to help educate others on the importance of sexual health, especially when certain topics are still considered a taboo. Even though H.I.P was in generally focused on helping women, we felt like men could really benefit from the topics as well and help become more educated. We as humans will tend to try and take on more then we can handle and lose focus when it comes to pleasure in the bedroom. We at Her Inner Pleasure will strive to provide more interesting post and educational content for readers like you. Thank you again for othering your feedback.

      Peace, Love and Happiness!!!

  • While I don’t know the feeling from personal experience (of course), I do know that the women I’ve been with have all achieved orgasm differently. I do know that, for all, it is possible. I really liked that you started off your article talking about what could be keeping you from having an orgasm. My partner and I always talk about how our emotional or psychological blockages could be keeping us from achieving our dreams. This concept applies to many facets of life, I think. 

    • Hello Tucker – Yes, all women do achieve an orgasm differently, also for some they are unable to reach this sexual sensation that so many get to enjoy. Emotional or psychological blockages do and will play a huge role for most women and even men as well when trying to achieve an orgasm and yes the concept does apply to many facets of life. 

      Determining what could be preventing one from having an orgasm can at times be challenging, for most they assume that it is something to do with them which is far from it.

      Thank you for sharing Tucker, can’t wait to hear back on how your spring tantra experience went and what you had learned and taken away.

      Peace, Love, and Happiness!


  • Great post. I can tell you that us women can reach orgasm! The first few months of my marriage, I was embarrassed by how long it would take to reach climaxed compared to my husband, that I pretended that I reach orgasm (surprisingly good at it). However, I learned that the both of us are happier if we are truly honest to each other. Teach and communicate with husband to “climb the mountain” together, taught my husband patience and I felt very thankful for his willingness to learn my favorite “spots” and techniques. Overall, I suggest to all women that when it comes to sex, be honest!

    • Hello Shellykh – Nice to hear from you, how have you been dear?

      It does take women much longer to reach their climax as oppose to men, but it shouldn’t be something women feel embarrassed about. Although, I see it did make you a good actress (Lol). 

      It is good to hear that both of you were able to open up to each other and be honest, which lead to better communication in his ability to learn where your favorite “spots” are located.

      Communication about sex among couples is really important and cannot be stressed enough, couples need to inform and teach each other where and what it is they like just like you have described Shellykh. When it comes down to it, what is seen on film (porn) really isn’t what a lot of women like. Hint, hint to all the men out there.

      Thank you again for sharing and hope others can take away from your experience.

      Hope to hear more from you Shellykh in the coming future.

      Peace, Love, and Happiness!

  • I agree that most of the time orgasm for women relates to the happiness of the relationship. I think there is probably too much emphasis on the ‘right’ technique or sexual position or what ever, when most of the time sex is mostly in the mind and translates into the body. However, I have never really had an issue reaching orgasm, so I can’t really say with authority that this is 100% true. I did not know that 1 out of 3 have a hard time reaching orgasm. This seems like a lot!

    • Hello Liz –  Hope all is well? Happiness in a relationship does play a role in helping to achieve an orgasm, yes I agree. When we are happy our brain releases the four main chemicals that makes us feelgood which are, serotonin, dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphin. This chemicals are released when we feel that we are in the presence of what ever it is that makes us feel good at that time.

      For some they may have that happiness in their relationship, but still unable to reach an orgasm due to certain other reasons. Communicating with each other on what the right technique is in order to help them get off also would give your partner more information for the future without having to fiddle around down there. 

      And one out of three does seem like a lot, but with better understanding and more education hopefully we can get those numbers to come down.

      Love to hear more from you and thank you for sharing with us, hope others can learn from you as well.

      Peace, Love, and Happiness!

  • Thank you for the post. This post is filled with great tips. Which I will be trying all of them. The part about the G-spot and Squirting. I always thought that this was a myth that this was possible. You see it in pornos but I have never experienced it for my self. I am going to try your suggestions to see if I can get my partner to Squirt. I’m also glad someone had the cajones to talk about sex. We are all adults and we all do it. so why not talk about it and make it better. Thanks for the post.  

    • Hi Geoffrey – Thank you stopping by, we are ecstatic that you found some simple, but yet effective tips to use and try out. The G-Spot does actually exist and no it’s not a mythical story that was made up long ago lol, a matter of fact believe it or not men have a G-Spot of their own, but it is better known as the P-Spot (Prostate). 

      Squirting is very popular when it comes to pornos, it is what sells at the moment and what people wanna see. Save your money and follow what you had learned and you will for sure make your partner squirt, remember to have them empty their bladder first, so they do not pee everywhere.  

      Thank you for stopping by, let us know how the squirting session went and leave us some new ideas for other readers to may have learned.

      Her Inner Pleasure will do a blog post on the P-Spot for men very soon.

      Peace, Love, and Happiness! 

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